SPLF Consent Policy & Procedures

This policy was developed in collaboration with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom and mental health professionals in our community. 

Introduction and Purpose

We strive to create an environment where all of us in Kink and Leather can gather in community and share connections, skills, social time, and celebrate relationships that exchange authority. It is paramount to our community’s health that all activities between individuals are done with enthusiastic and ongoing consent.

We endeavor to create a safer community and event space. However, we acknowledge that no relationship, play or activity is without physical, mental, or emotional risks.

This document outlines our reporting process for consent incidents that occur at SPLF as well as incidents outside of the event concerning SPLF attendees, affiliates such as staff, presenters, sponsors and regional producers and volunteers. We recognize that every consent incident is unique. While this policy sets the standards for our process for handling such incidents, there may be times where circumstances of a consent incident require a deviation from this standard. We will update this policy as we continue to evolve to better serve our community’s interests.

Consent Policy

“Consent” means a person’s willingness and ability to engage in a specific act. It is important to note that consent is the mutual creation of an agreement: the presence of “YES!” not just the absence of “No.”

  1. Do not touch anyone without their permission or what they have consented to in the past, and don’t base consent on what you’ve seen someone do with other people.
  2. All activities must receive prior consent explicitly by verbal or written agreement rather than through gestures, body language, or past behavior.
  3. Informed consent requires discussing the risks involved in the activity and the steps needed to reduce those risks, including study, training, technique, and safety measures.
  4. Don’t re-negotiate while in a play headspace unless it is to reject activities that were previously agreed to. A person who is in an altered state of mind of any kind, including play induced headspace, may not be able to give informed consent.
  5. Follow the SPLF Play Space rules.
  6. Do not pressure, force, coerce, or manipulate someone into consent.
  7. Do not do anything likely to result in serious bodily injury or go beyond the participant’s negotiated expectations, even where the participant gave consent.
  8. All attendees must abide by SPLF’s no-photo policy.
  9. Don’t “out” anyone as kinky, non-monogamous, Leather or in an authority exchange relationship to their family, friends, co-workers, or anyone outside of our community. Don’t use someone’s first/last name in person or online with others unless they give you specific permission to do so. Don’t share anyone’s Personally Identifiable Information (PII), including photographs, in any form or format without their consent.
  10. If you would like someone to cease contact with you, please tell them either verbally or by direct message: “Please don’t contact me anymore.” If you receive a message that an individual has revoked consent for contact, this applies to all forms of direct communication. Once you have revoked consent for contact, you should not initiate further contact yourself.

Reporting a Consent Incident

SPLF only takes first-person reports and cannot act on hearsay or third-party reports. We do not take anonymous reports.

To ensure a timely response, please use the following methods to report:

  1. During the event, please speak with any staff member who will provide advice regarding the onsite reporting process.
  2. Outside of events, you can contact us via the Consent Incident Report Form.
  3. South Plains takes consent incidents seriously and investigates concerns thoroughly, and this process takes time. Therefore, there may not be time to come to a decision on incidents reported immediately prior to the event.

Reporting Process

  1. If the reporter is in crisis, we may suggest they contact a kink-aware crisis professional or advocacy organization for immediate care. At an event, if an attendee needs to call 911 or an ambulance, we will encourage them to do so, and a member of staff will wait with them until help arrives.
  2. The Consent Incident Report Form goes directly to the Producer. This form contains a field requiring indication of the reporter’s consent for the Producer to share the reported information with the SPLF Incident Advisory Team, including a neutral third-party investigator from the mental health field whose purpose is to gather information and provide a recommendation for next steps. If the investigator is unable to be neutral due to prior relationship with any of the parties involved, an alternate investigator will be assigned.
  3. The SPLF Incident Advisory Team will only talk to the reporter, the reported person, and anyone who witnessed the consent incident.
  4. We do not bring the reporter and reported person together to discuss the incident or attempt to perform a mediation or facilitate an apology.
  5. We will reach out to those involved to individually hear their experience. We may request additional materials and have additional questions as we collect information.
  6. We do not give the report to the person who has been reported. If the reporter has been threatened with a defamation lawsuit or fears for their safety, we will maintain their confidentiality with the reported person. However, this may make it more difficult to gather information about the consent incident and make a decision.
  7. We will take into consideration what the reporter would like to happen, without making any guarantees due to the need to protect our group and our members.
  8. We will not engage with social media posts that reference consent incident accusations or reports, due to the risk of additional harm and liability to all parties.

Temporary Steps During Information Gathering

Reported and reporting attendees are expected to navigate shared spaces responsibly, such as avoiding shared spaces, during a pending investigation or to refrain from attending the event if they cannot. Reporters and reported are also asked to be risk-aware and leave spaces or events if interaction will be potentially damaging to their mental or physical well-being.

Depending on the nature of the initial report, all individuals may be temporarily required to refrain from attending while the information gathering process takes place. We recognize that this situation may be undesirable to those involved in a consent incident but may need to take this measure until a final decision can be reached. If an incident occurs during SPLF, no refunds are given.

What We Deal With

After information has been gathered, the SPLF Incident Advisory Team will review it.

We make decisions about:

  • Violations of our rules and Consent Policy at our events and online entities
  • Behaviors outside of the event that could be in violation of criminal law (see below)
  • Outing or threats of outing (Click HERE for NCSF’s outing policy and procedures )
  • Reports of sanctions or bans by other events or groups with a similar consent culture

Reports that could be in violation of criminal law include:

  1. Physical assault - Causing physical harm or unwanted physical contact upon another person (especially when the other party is injured).
  2. Sexual assault – Intentionally touching another person’s breasts, genitals or buttocks without their consent, or coercing or physically forcing someone to engage in a sexual act.
  3. Blackmail – Demanding payment or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them.
  4. Revenge Porn – Digital distribution of nude or sexually explicit photos and/or videos of a person without their consent, sometimes in retaliation.
  5. Stealthing – Removing a condom without consent during a sexual act. While stealthing itself is not illegal, passing on an STI is illegal in many states.
  6. Stalking – Following someone to their home or workplace without permission.
  7. Harassment – Harassment is repeatedly attempting to communicate with someone after they’ve asked for no contact or threatening someone or their family or friends.

Interpersonal disputes are typically not within the scope of SPLF; however, we do not diminish the profound impact and harm that can be caused in such situations.

Management of contact among attendees is at their own agency, up to and including the establishment of legal protective orders. If attendees under no-contact are present together at our events, we ask you to not approach each other. We can suggest publicly available resources, including lists of self-selected professionals advertising services in kink-aware mediation, community support, and trauma counseling such as NCSF’s Kink Aware Professionals list. Such interpersonal disputes may include but not be limited to:

  • Emotional abuse
  • Gaslighting
  • Verbal abuse
  • Humiliation
  • Talking about bad experiences they had with someone
  • Unpopular speech on social media
  • Arguments about ideology or ideas

Evaluating Consent Incidents

While consent incidents are unique and varied, there is a common set of factors that we take into account in every case when determining the most appropriate response which includes but is not limited to the following:

  • The severity of the nonconsensual activity (unwanted hug vs. sexual assault, assault with injury)
  • The nature of the consent incident (accident, ignorance, manipulation, coercion)
  • The response of the individual who crossed a boundary (accepting responsibility for their behavior, showing empathy for the reporter, desire to apologize vs. denial, deflection)
  • Power differentials between involved individuals (leadership position, presenters, performers, owners vs. newbies, people who are traditionally marginalized)
  • Multiple reports of consent incidents from unrelated people reporting the same person (indicating a pattern of bad behavior)
  • Serial reports by one person against multiple people (indicating the consent reporting process may be being misused)
  • Public documents like orders of protection, police reports, and sex offender registry
  • Admissions of wrong-doing by the reported person
  • Reports of sanctions or bans by other groups with a similar consent culture
  • Willingness of the reported person to defer to the needs and wishes of the reporter

Sanctions

The Producer and SPLF Incident Advisory Team will decide on an outcome. One or more of the following actions may be taken. (An individual who knowingly and intentionally creates a false report may also be subject to these actions).

  • Warnings – Some people can violate consent or boundaries through inexperience, poor communication skills, or a misunderstanding of expectations. We will provide education about our Consent Policy and recommend the individual to educational materials about consent. We expect members of our community who receive formal warnings to take them seriously and adjust their behavior moving forward.
  • Attendance Restrictions – If you violate any of our rules or Consent Policy which is published on the SPLF website, or have repeated warnings, you may be required to refrain from attending our events or a subset of our events for a set amount of time and until the individual can demonstrate sufficient evidence of growth and education, as evaluated by SPLF’s Incident Advisory Team. If this occurs during the event, no refunds will be given.
  • Bans – SPLF may ban anyone who is not a good fit for our group. If an individual is barred from attending our events, they will also not be permitted to participate in our online groups and discussions, and vice versa. If this occurs during the event, no refunds will be given.

Consent Incidents Involving Affiliates

We hold ownership, staff, regional producers, volunteers, presenters, and organizers to a higher standard of conduct, so we encourage you to feel comfortable reporting behavior that is in violation of our consent policy. In addition to the above, issues involving affiliates may require additional steps:

  • Event Volunteers involved in a consent incident may be removed from their role at events or barred from further volunteering until a decision is made. No refunds are given.
  • Presenters and other educators involved in a consent incident may have their classes canceled or postponed until a decision is made. No refunds are given.
  • Event Staff, Sponsors, Affiliated Regional Contest Producers and Titleholders involved in a consent incident may be temporarily suspended while the reports are taken and until such time as the consent incident can be evaluated by the SPLF Incident Advisory Team and a decision is made.
  • Event Ownership involved in a consent incident may result in SPLF consulting with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) directly to determine the action to be taken.

Notification of a Decision

When the Producer and Incident Advisory Board have reached a decision in response to a consent incident report, they will notify those involved about the decision in the following order:

  1. The Reporter. If they would like to engage further with the person they reported to get mediation or an apology, SPLF may suggest a publicly available resource list of self-selected professional advertising services in kink-aware mediation to assist them.
  2. The Reported person. They will be instructed not to reach out to the reporter or initiate contact at events or online (unless otherwise specified by the reporter), or additional sanctions may be applied. It’s up to the reporter to initiate any contact.
  3. Witnesses. We will request that witnesses maintain confidentiality about the consent incident, unless the Reporter permits them to speak about what they witnessed.
  4. If it is a Warning or Restricted Attendance, and the reported person has demonstrated a willingness to change problematic behavior, we will state in general what changes that need to be made were suggested by the investigator in order to attend our events.
  5. If the person is Banned, they are told they are not a good fit for the group. We will provide no other information to protect the reporter, the group, and SPLF attendees from retaliation and liability.
  6. If an individual is banned, we may privately communicate only our decision to organizers in our community without disclosing any details regarding the incident.
  7. In the event of a widely discussed or witnessed consent incident that results in a ban, we may acknowledge the ban and say this person is not a good fit for the group. If the person is a volunteer or staff member, a brief statement about them stepping back from their responsibilities may be made.
  8. We will not discuss our decision with partners, friends, metamours, or other parties uninvolved with the consent incident. SPLF does not allow the SPLF Incident Team, Affiliates, Staff or Volunteers to engage in public discussions that name names or the specifics of consent incidents at our events or online entities due to the risk of additional harm and liability to the event, reporter, and any witnesses. Confidentiality is abiding for staff members even after their term of service is over.

Closing and Summary

South Plains Leatherfest is first and foremost an annual social event which features entertainment, connection activities, educational classes and social opportunities. Our event staff are not trained mental health professionals, conflict mediators, or legal investigators, and should not be regarded as such in relation to Consent Issue Reporting. A professional from the mental health field is used for the purpose of report investigations.

In publishing this Consent Policy and Procedures, we hope that everyone involved with our event understands what happens when someone reports a consent incident to us. We strive to foster the improvement of consent education with the goal of making instances where this policy must be relied upon few and far between, and we take consent incidents seriously in order to serve our goal of creating a safer community for everyone.

These guidelines are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute legal advice.